Work.

I had work today (Starbucks...) and it's like my third or fourth shift. I understand that I'm 'new' but I really am not. I'm a rehire - so I know what's going on, none of it is new to me. Yet these 'partners' that I work with seem like they don't trust me with making the drinks or getting the pastries... It's really frustrating.

Being a barista is natural to me (it better be after being with the company for almost three years). I have a flow and a groove to the things that I do whether it be bar, register, or even floating. But it seems like Starbucks has become very robotic and IMPERSONAL. Even though that's the very characteristic they're spending all their research and development on - "Anticipate. Connect. PERSONALIZE. Own." The way things are being done at Starbucks now... is very VERY IMpersonal.

Baristas are like machines. "Step 1: Pour the milk. Step 2: Steam the milk. Step 3: Queue the shots. Step 4: Pump the syrup. Step 5: Pour shots into cup..." and so on and so forth. In this manner, baristas have all become machines and copies of each other. We are no longer individuals who help our customers in a very unique and special way.

NOPE. Not at all.

We are Starbucks clones.

I never understood...

...why people insisted on having blogs. But I kind of get it now. Sometimes when you don't know who amongst your friends you can turn to with the thoughts on your mind, the only thing left are the billions of strangers roaming the internet.

So I guess that's what I'm left to do.

For starters, I'm hating Facebook more and more. It just makes me realize how lonely my world is. You think you have 'real' friends or 'good' friends or friends who 'will always be there' - but then you go on Facebook and you realize you have none of that. The world goes on without you - without me.

I could disappear and no one would care. Sometimes I wish I could do that... disappear from the social world and surround myself with nothing but music and the words that I type out in front of me.

I feel stupid for being so melodramatic.  I feel stupid for bitching about my life. But you know what?

I do feel better about it, even if nobody ever sees this.